Day 49: Arriving Home

It’s been seven intense weeks, and I have now arrived HOME!

One cautious step at a time. Down the outside stairs and back into our basement apartment. Then – finally, upstairs into my treasured office-nest. I’ve been feeling every emotion possible as the past, present, and future all swirl together with tears of relief and gratitude.

From the jarring moment when my body was hurtled up on the car hood, I’ve been conscious of being invited to ‘come home’ in another way. This has been a soulful pilgrimage of coherence. Of ‘coming home’ to all the various aspects of the physical, mental, spiritual and emotional aspects of myself through this extreme external displacement.

A Rubik’s Cube has a somewhat limited metaphorical scope, yet I offer this weirdly functional image to describe this significant experience as a soul journey and not an accident.

For decades, I’ve been a pilgrim on a conscious journey seeking coherence.

Making sense.

Finding understanding.

Gaining experience of real-life God encounters.

Looking for clarity as a multi-faceted colorful soul called to journey with this living planet at this time.

Lining up consciously with my gifts of service as best as I know how with my ancestors who set me up as a spiritual pilgrim.

Birthing a fresh generation of seekers in the visions of our children and grandchildren and all who follow.

For 75 years, I’ve clicked slowly through one life-transition after another, one face of my being ordered after another. Then - always hitting a wall, a dead end of sorts to the deeper vision and inner soul call. Then - called to return – to start the journey all over again. ARGHHHH. Not easy. Following the Aha’s, the clicks - over and over again - through the labyrinthine puzzle of abundant life. Each return journey raises and heals the niggling doubts and traumatic fears of childhood. Always sensing ‘something more.'

Curiously, just before this happened, I attempted to sign up for a 10-day Animas vision quest in South Africa (it started yesterday!) I wrote to my soul-brother leading this saying, “My vision and call as ElderSoul keeps expanding into a local, inter-generational communal way of being. Guidance and leadership arise through the power of the collective as we heal and mature...it feels like being with the land in Africa might be a part of the soul pilgrimage of elderhood as I/We transition and thunder my way with many forms of individual, ancestral and collective energies.”

He wrote back, saying the program was unusually over-subscribed. I wrote back saying. “Well then, I trust that whatever form of vision quest arises now will be exactly what my soul needs for this next season of eldership!”

A few days later a car hit me on a crosswalk.

I have been clicked into place! I’ve arrived home. Something profoundly indescribable happened. That’s why I will keep writing - to stay right here!

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My friends, as you read this - do you know this experience of having to begin all over again?

Of ‘aha’ moments and then silence, dead-ends?

Of getting up and the hard work of committing yourself to take the next step?

Where are you at on the Rubik’s Cube of life?

Back: Day 47

Next: Week 8