Day 35: Laughter in Play

It was considerably hard to not be able to head out up into the mountains for our annual family camping trip this weekend. Sigh. Check out this amazing fall foliage that I missed.

Soon it’ll be 6 weeks, and I’ll find out if I can learn to fully weight-bear and walk again. Recently, I’ve been laughing at some crazy wheelchair moments over these past weeks!

Like the times I got firmly wedged in place, unable to move. Once in rehab, I found myself stuck in the bathroom on my chair, without my phone. My leg extension firmly caught under the sink. Same thing happened up at the retreat center, this time crammed between a wooden door and the opposite door frame. Both times completely alone, no one to call for help, aware of laughter rising in me at the ridiculousness of being helplessly stuck. I freed myself eventually by ramming myself back and forth like a tank – tearing off chunks of plaster and wood in my mercenary machine. The power of determination!

I have increased awareness now of disability access issues – things I never noticed before.

My housing on the main floor of the retreat lodge did not provide me access to a shower, so by the third day, I was ready for a creative solution. Everyone was out on their solo journeys, and I asked dear Jade to bring me two buckets of warm water on the sunny deck. Gloriously naked in the sunshine, she poured them over me while I shouted hallelujahs and praise for water, sunshine and nakedness - some of my favorite experiences in the world. Who wouldn’t celebrate joy while basking ‘au naturel’ in this splendiferous view!

This remains a peak personal experience during this complicated journey of healing. There’s something about sensuality and skin that makes me want to play like a child. Wheelchair aura tends to be swathed in heaviness. I notice when I’m outdoors, some passersby can’t even see me – I’m invisible. I’m reminded how my soul journey over the past decades has continuously led me into experiential play. To allow the wild soul of my being to be fully embodied: climbing trees, taking mud baths, dancing, swimming naked in every possible watery location.

It’s clearly evident that my faith tradition and British background wrapped me in the repressive graveclothes of work and service, and the subjugation of the body (which I was never good at – thank God!) and graceful submission to hardships. Molting this calcified carapace has been the work of decades, and even now remnants cling, like sandstone grit still being sloughed off to fine-tune the unique notes and rhythms of my Song of Joy dance.

A Playlist for Spirit Dancing

Join me, friends!

How does your wild soul long to be embodied today?

An invitation:

I can’t dance with both my legs yet – but will soon! Play a favorite tune or one from the above playlist and dance. For me, for you and for all our wild souls in community that need to play more together, to strengthen our joy to be of service to a hurting world.

Come on – you can do it!

Next: Day 37

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